Your Monday Kickoff: Which MLS teams should be hitting the panic button?

What you need to know

Philadelphia Union U17s defeat FC Dallas in Generation adidas Cup final

The last time a Philadelphia Union team won the Generation adidas Cup was in 2012. Current first-team head coach Jim Curtin guided the U-17s to that triumph, and future US international Zack Steffen was in goal that day as Philadelphia defeated Toronto FC in a penalty shootout. Fast forward to 2023, and the Philadelphia Under-17 squad capped off a week of strong results with a 1-0 title triumph against FC Dallas at this year’s Generation adidas Cup. A Devon DeCorte goal in the 24th minute from the penalty spot proved to be the difference.

Austin FC U15s beat Philadelphia Union to claim Generation adidas Cup title

It only took four seasons for the Austin FC Academy to bring home significant silverware. Their Under-15 squad captured the 2023 Generation adidas Cup on Sunday, besting the Philadelphia Union on penalties after the two sides drew 1-1. For the second game in a row, Nicolas Aristizabal came up huge in the shootout. Aristizabal stopped the seventh Union penalty of the day, securing the shootout by a 7-6 margin.

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Five questions for your consideration following Matchday 7

So close. So close until all of this stops being fake. But I think we can at least safely say the results are starting to be slightly less fake. We have maybe, potentially, learned something at this point. Even still, I’ll hold off on the hottest takes I have simmering underneath the surface until we can be sure we’ve learned something. For now, I have questions.

1

How deep is the hole at the bottom of the West?

Now that the celebration of St. Louis’ early success is winding down, it feels like it’s time to start turning our attention to the teams who have been around far longer than St. Louis but are getting far, far worse results. The first 20% of the season is for dreams, the next 20% is for asking why certain teams have already given up on them. Especially when the West’s table is being propped up by three of its biggest and most successful clubs. Someone stuck expensive paintings underneath the shorter leg instead of Splenda packets.

Sporting KC are at the bottom of the bottom with three points and a -6 goal differential over seven games. The Galaxy are barely above them with three points and a -6 goal differential over six games. And Portland are just above them with five points and a -6 goal differential over seven games. It’s not clear exactly what the way forward is for any of these three right now.

SKC are getting pieces back, like Alan Pulido, but they aren’t controlling games or creating high-quality chances. The Galaxy have fans protesting, players losing their heads and earning highly-avoidable red cards as they lose to Houston, and Secondary Transfer Window sanctions looming. And the Timbers are injured, but I’m not convinced they would be all that great if they were healthy. Even with Evander plugged in, it’s still the same team, playing the same uninspiring brand of soccer that earned them eighth place in the West last year.

Now, I will say, even though it’s a few games too early to look at underlying numbers like expected goals, SKC’s and LA’s numbers are at least better than last place in the West. They still aren’t great, but both teams have underperformed their xG more than any other Western Conference team. Maybe that’s an early indicator things will be sorted out and all will be totally… well, honestly, it would still be pretty mediocre if things evened out. But at least they wouldn’t be last. Portland would be.

There’s honestly just no way to sugarcoat any of this. The best thing I can say is nine teams per conference make the Audi MLS Cup Playoffs and we’ve seen plenty of teams pull off three straight wins out of nowhere before and be right back in the middle of it all. But that won’t fix the fact Seattle and LAFC are miles ahead of teams that feel like they should be competing at the top of the conference. Simply put: It’s bleak. Which begs the question…

2

Are any coaches on the hot seat?

A few teams in particular should be slamming the panic button. It’s time. The three Western Conference teams mentioned above are in that group, and the teams at the bottom of the East are right there with them. CF Montréal have a -13 (!!) goal differential through six games, Charlotte have somehow regressed from an expansion year, D.C. just don't have the juice, and Inter Miami have lost five straight since winning their first two games.

Are any of those teams prepared to make changes any time soon? Honestly, I don’t think we’re that far away from seeing someone send their head coach upstate to a farm with all the other head coaches who don’t have a team. Some of these situations are getting dire enough that something needs to change and someone needs to be a scapegoat.

Will that actually fix anything? Almost definitely not. Like nearly every issue in this sport, these are largely roster-building problems, not tactical ones. But they’ve got to try and fix this somehow, right? It feels almost certain someone from the bunch above won’t make it through the summer. Maybe a few someones. I’ll let you decide who’s in the most danger.

3

Is Dénis Bouanga your 2023 MVP?

I said it yesterday and I’ll say it again: If you’re giving me Bouanga versus the field in the 2023 Landon Donovan MLS MVP race, I’m not sure I’m taking the field. Eventually, yeah, I’m probably talking myself into the rest of the league, but I would have a hard time convincing myself I’m making the right call.

Bouanga is on another planet right now. His hat trick against Austin last weekend was as special as they come. He’s scored six times in his first six league games, and that doesn’t include the CCL hat trick he pulled off a few weeks ago or the insane brace he delivered against Vancouver in CCL action on Wednesday. He’s just doing this better and more spectacularly than anyone else. And Bouanga has the team around him to make sure he gets opportunities to showcase his talent over and over and over.

It seems like another perfect LAFC signing. He’s 28 and not set to head out to Europe any time soon. Bouanga seems more than prepared to keep this up for a while. And I wouldn’t be surprised if he’s the clear frontrunner in the MVP race for a major chunk of 2023.

4

Should we be reconsidering Vancouver?

Yeah, it didn’t go great in CCL against LAFC. But the 'Caps have quietly been picking up points in MLS. And even more quietly putting up some of the best (early) underlying numbers in the league. Seriously, they’re on par with LAFC and Seattle. I’m just saying, don’t sleep on Vancouver.

5

Can Cincy win every game by one?

Two draws have made it impossible for Cincy to finish 34W-0L-0D with a +34 goal differential, but a season with 32 wins, two draws and a +32 goal differential is still in play. Look, my question here is really about whether or not Cincy are willing to chase after dreams. Specifically my dreams of a bunch of results that are increasingly kind of, sort of funny.

Really though, how long can they keep this up? Probably forever, right?

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